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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):

Q: What makes the Ownership concept you describe, special?

A: Ownership of our real lives, our real world, has not, to my knowledge ever been studied or written about. Yet if you look at history and our world today, be it in politics or finance or relationships or parenting or career or any measure of success, facing and acknowledging and Owning oneself and reality and then Owning one’s reactions and learning clearly determines success – far more than any other single quality, skill or trait a human can be born with or acquire.

No great invention, achievement or contribution came about through denying reality or denying Ownership; conversely, all achievements great and small come through taking Ownership of one’s life. We all have limited time and energy and Ownership fully acknowledges that – and then teaches you how to channel your limited personal pool into what is absolutely crucial to you.


Q: Is Ownership about learning theory, or emotional intelligence, or humility, or?…

A: Ownership is derived from the fundamental requirements of many different fields: Emotional Intelligence, meta-cognition, psychology, economics, narration, history, neurolinguistics, charity, learning theory to name a few. It is a combination of a bit of each of them, and is none of them on its own.

The simplest analogy is this: Ownership is the subconscious gateway that makes any human being decide whether to use their eyes, ears, body and brain at 100%…or 50%…or not at all, for the absolute benefit of themselves and those who need them. Without it, great lessons and experiences and friends and family lose most of their value because the No-Ownership individual simply refuses to acknowledge and learn from reality.


Q: Who should buy the book? Who should read it?

A: Virtually everyone alive. Ownership is probably the single most crucial determinant of success, and we all want to be successful in everything we do. Yet by the measure of Ownership, almost everyone alive is not in Ownership all the time…in fact, I would say in this day and age, with escapism and social media and all kinds of harmful habits that we can see, hear and adopt from others, to even find an individual in 50% Ownership is extremely rare. The rare individuals with high Ownership are very popular, wildly (sometimes mind-bogglingly) successful in practically everything they set out to do, are islands of serenity and calm even in the midst of chaos, almost always positive, and don’t shy away from hard decisions or truths or ensuring the people around them are focused on a healthy future.

Look around you. By this standard of Ownership – all-around fulfillment and success – it is clear that most of us are in No-Ownership. I say this as a matter of observation. I am not exempt from this either. Though I wrote this book, I am not in Ownership all the time. I have never met anyone who is. The book clearly describes what Ownership is about and how it can be acquired and learnt…and taught to others you care for.


Q: I have read the book. You suggest facing all of reality. Isn’t that painful and tiring? Isn’t filtering out bits of reality healthier?

A: The issue with filters is that they must be applied in the context of reality. People often say that “filters are a defense mechanism.” They are correct – except that people often apply these filters to things and events and people they do not like, because they wish to preserve their ego. Their self-image. As the book describes, preservation of self-image is No-Ownership. These people fail to learn and improve on everything they should. The end result is that the filtering leads them to make the same mistake, and leaves them with the same flaws. In the long-term, this closes doors and limits the person’s success and happiness because the problems aren’t fixed.

Conversely, filtering what we see and hear through the lens of Reality – to cut out the venom, the biases and bad intentions of others, is useful. This is described in the book.


Q: I have read the book. Ownership is clearly tiring to be in all the time. Do I really have to be in it?

A: Ownership is most tiring and difficult to adapt to at the beginning, like any life-enriching, worthwhile habit will be. The temptation to push blame to others, to make excuses for yourself, will be there. It is difficult to be in 100% Ownership all the time.

I would say that Ownership requires you only to do your best, for what you and others around you need. This matters because Reality says you and I are human, we aren’t perfect. Reality also says, however, that anything valuable and fulfilling requires significant time and energy to be invested, and this is what Ownership is about. The more of Ownership you remain in, the happier and more fulfilled and more successful you will be. It’s that simple.

Once Ownership becomes a habit, it becomes far less tiring. In fact, I find it more tiring to be in No-Ownership, which means having to face all the anger others will have for you, and climb over the obstacles without help or assistance that your allies can give you…than be in Ownership and thus be able to move through life without having to deal with a ton of negative emotions from yourself and others, and receive help whenever you need it.


Q: Near the end of the book, you mentioned high IQ and clearly don’t think highly of it. Just how important is IQ to success?

A: High IQ does help one think faster and realize things faster. However, it is less important than creativity, humility, empathy, wisdom, observation, emotional intelligence, and several other traits or skills that can be deliberately acquired if one sets one’s mind to it. On my personal list of “most crucial traits for success”, which I plotted through studying life trajectories of human beings from all walks of life and in history as well as our current era, high IQ ranks at number 12 or 13…it isn’t even in the top 10. One only needs to look around and accept that many people who are wildly successful don’t have a very high IQ, and many people with a high IQ simply aren’t successful in most things.


Q: Are there sequels planned?

A: Perhaps. The Ownership Cycle was written for personal-level use. Yet I have mentioned concepts that, if applied at school, organization, society or nation-level, would eradicate many of the problems arising from No-Ownership that plague our world today. Corruption. Discrimination. Terrorism. Climate change. Rogue students and employees and children. This would not require all human beings to adopt, to make dramatic improvements to the world and communities we live in. I estimate a mere 3-5% of human beings, banding together and employing these concepts, could accomplish major improvements in their own community and country. This will not be easy; Ownership requires firmness and being willing to open your eyes and ears and say “everyone’s life and future matters.” But I feel it is worth it.

So yes, if there is a sequel, it would be on Ownership-Cycle solutions to problems at group and world levels. (I posed some of those as questions near the end of the book. Some of the questions appear simple or the suggestions crazy; they aren’t.)

The Ownership Cycle

The Ownership Cycle